When repeatedly questioned about the fake trend promoted on Twitter by Disney/Pixar, Sheriff Woody Pride finally put down the bottle cap and pulled his string:
-slurred- You’re my favorite deputy…totes!
A distraught Woody, questioning his ability to trend on his own
While that was his only statement outside the tiny West Hollywood cantina, an unnamed source close to the situation had this to say:
Ever since we wrapped filming, Woody has been a little touch and go. He really took a dive when the series finale of LOST left him with more questions than answers. Pixar faking a trend on Twitter was the last toy in the box. This shit aint going to end with him on a horse riding off into the sunset.
Longtime supporter and past sponsor, Matthew Perry had one thing he wanted Woody to know:
I just want him to understand…sure we’ve had differences in the past, but he has a friend in me.
Woody fending off paparazzi outside the tiny cantina on Sunset Blvd
But seriously. What the fuck is up with “promoted” trends. Twitter, this shit don’t make sense:
Promoted Trends are a new advertising concept we began testing this week; they are an extension of our Promoted Tweets platform. Like Trending Topics, Promoted Trends are already trending on Twitter but haven’t yet made their way into the Trending Topics list.
Don’t get me wrong, back in the 80s I was a huge follower of fake trends. I wore a Coca-Cola polo and sported at least 3 Swatch watches nearly everyday of 7th grade. But to let corporations piss in the trending topics stream? Dearest Twitter, rethink this one… PLEASE. It’s enough to make us small people drink.*
*By drink, I mean drink more than usual. By small people, I mean everyone who doesn’t vacation with Carl-Henric Svanberg.
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Pouring one out for my homey.