Remember back in the day when someone figured out that DMs weren’t restricted to 140 characters? That was cool. We got so crazy making long DMs and revealing the *secret* to people. We were so crazy back then.
Remember when lists were introduced? Man, that was going to eliminate some clutter. Arrange people by topics, go check out a list, get smart on a topic. That never happened, I’m still dumb on gardening.
Remember twitvid? During a summer vacation to Chicago, I thought that shit was going to be the future. I still like it, but nobody else does. Just like soccer.
REMEMBER WHEN @OPRAH JOINED TWITTER? AT FIRST I WAS ALL “WHAT DOES STEDMAN SEE IN HER?” BUT THEN I REALIZED, HARPO SPELLS OPRAH BACKWARDS AND ALL WAS FORGIVEN. SKNAHT HARPO!
Remember when you first met someone from twitter IRL? Hey kids, daddy’s going to meet the lady from twitter at a hotel bar. When mom gets home, try to make it sound less creepy. @BarbaraNixon you were my first! I’ll always remember.
Remember when you were the only one at work on twitter? You’d spend all day tweeting about non-work stuff. Personally, I never took part in that. Thought it was morally wrong.
Remember when Obama tweeted… then didn’t tweet… then did again? Guess it goes in four year cycles. Strange. Thanks for connecting with us Mr. President!
Remember those “Brittany Fucked” SPAM accounts? That was my first celebrity experience on twitter, I apologize if I boasted each time one followed. It made me feel special.
Remember when your wife used to bitch and moan because you were on twitter all fucking night and day? [points to garage] #silence
Remember summize? I bet they look back and wish they asked for more money.
Remember when you figured out how hashtags worked. #remembertwitter