The Humongo Nation Command Center (slightly altered)

Here’s a look at my tour day*:

1. Watch the recap video of the previous day’s tour stops. @renatoghio is a video god, always produces great work.
2. Follow the tweets @HumongoAgency and @darrylohrt, with a little #HumongoNation search to see who’s playing along.
3. The blog is cool for people with strong reading skills who have no idea how to hit play on a video (see step 1) AND new this year is a FOOD BLOG which is quite tasty. Y’all should expect to see a Paula Deen recipe posted after the July 28th tour stop in Savannah.
4. If you followed step 2 you’ll eventually get a tweet telling you the Flex Cams are LIVE (road cam pictured below). Usually this happens between 3pm – 6pm EST.

The Flex Cam puts you behind the wheel

The road trip from Maine to Miami has already reached Raleigh, NC (today they visit BeanCast™ FTW!) with plenty more AWESOME stops along the way. Follow the journey at Humongo Nation 2010 and if you’re a fan of the facebook, they’re over there, too.

If they are coming through your area, *ping* them and try to meet up. A great group of creatives with a Flex full of free t-shirts for those lucky enough to connect.

Me and my son celebrating the new t-shirt!

*Yes, I do this everyday of the tour, even while at work. I’m a Web guy responsible for social Web initiatives, this is professional development at its best. Not to mention a great way to steal ideas that work.

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Please note: While I celebrate holidays in real-time on twitter, I usually wait 10 days before blogging my holiday wishes. Happy Independence Day!

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Give Dad a pre-Father’s Day Bieber ‘do! Use scissors, a wig, whatever you have to do and submit photos…

Scissors can be painful and wigs are infested with lice. So I decided to tackle the “whatever” angle and hoped a Photochop wouldn’t be disqualified.

Right before Heather Storm announced the winners on the air, my wife reminded me that the last thing I won from a radio station was a four-pack of tickets to Stars on Ice back when we lived in Pensacola. Now THAT is a Bieber-ticket-winning omen!

When she said our name, the kids went crazy. My younger son actually went a little too crazy, but we’ll save that for a later blog post.

If you’re going to be at Summerfest for the Bieber concert look for me and my daughter, we’re working on a really cool costume hoping to get Justin’s attention.

Stars on Ice, Justin Bieber… can only imagine what I’ll win next. Go ahead, leave a comment with your snarky prediction. If you’re right, I’ll split the prize with you. Bonus points for something Canadian.

And in related news… I won the lottery. Even saw the lights on the Goodyear Blimp and it read, “@tsand‘s a pimp” got to say it was a good day.

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-slurred- You’re my favorite deputy…totes!

A distraught Woody, questioning his ability to trend on his own

While that was his only statement outside the tiny West Hollywood cantina, an unnamed source close to the situation had this to say:

Ever since we wrapped filming, Woody has been a little touch and go. He really took a dive when the series finale of LOST left him with more questions than answers. Pixar faking a trend on Twitter was the last toy in the box. This shit aint going to end with him on a horse riding off into the sunset.

Longtime supporter and past sponsor, Matthew Perry had one thing he wanted Woody to know:

I just want him to understand…sure we’ve had differences in the past, but he has a friend in me.

Woody fending off paparazzi outside the tiny cantina on Sunset Blvd

But seriously. What the fuck is up with “promoted” trends. Twitter, this shit don’t make sense:

Promoted Trends are a new advertising concept we began testing this week; they are an extension of our Promoted Tweets platform. Like Trending Topics, Promoted Trends are already trending on Twitter but haven’t yet made their way into the Trending Topics list.

Don’t get me wrong, back in the 80s I was a huge follower of fake trends. I wore a Coca-Cola polo and sported at least 3 Swatch watches nearly everyday of 7th grade. But to let corporations piss in the trending topics stream? Dearest Twitter, rethink this one… PLEASE. It’s enough to make us small people drink.*

*By drink, I mean drink more than usual. By small people, I mean everyone who doesn’t vacation with Carl-Henric Svanberg.

Follow other ramblings @tsand

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Things usually stop with the tweet. But @sethodell replied, and that got me thinking… Seth OWNS video, so maybe I should ride this contact high and make a video of my own. So in the spirit of the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica off we went on an adventure.

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Sea Turtle Enjoying the BP Top Kill

SEE MORE >>> BP Oil Spill Graffiti set on flickr

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FACT: There is a cure!

When I’m forced to shop I make sure I bring along at least one of my kids* and a Flip camera. There are only two rules when the camera starts capturing the action:

1. DON’T BREAK SHIT
2. HAVE FUN

Acting a fool is OK, as long as it doesn’t upset (or injure) other shoppers. Pissing off store employees is frowned upon, unless they shoot several dirty looks your direction without asking you to stop – basically they are asking for more. Window shopping isn’t allowed, if you’re shooting on location you must buy something. Karma.

Example 1: If you can’t hula hoop, you must show the entire store how uncoordinated a human can be with a brief display of your misspelled poetry in motion. If you don’t LOL at my son hula hooping, you should reevaluate life. And please note: you should never buy a hula hoop without properly “kicking the tires” – unbalanced hula hoops are destined for collecting dust in the garage.

Example 2: We spend more money at the grocery store in a month than we do on our mortgage. To me, it’s our playground. If I want to juggle fruit in the meat department, the only thing holding me back is my inability to juggle.

Example 3: If you are forced to shop on Super Bowl Sunday, make sure you have a good time. Challenge yourself to create a commercial, give more purpose to your shopping list than “two huge bags of Eukanuba” could ever provide.

When life hands you lemons, head to the meat department and attempt to do the impossible.

*Don’t have kids? Take your dog** to Petsmart, nothing is funnier than a dog dropping a deuce in the cat department. Cat people*** are easy targets, they favor tiny poops that can be easily covered with dust and rocks. A large breed dog works best for this assignment.

**Don’t have a dog? Pay one of my kids to go to Petsmart with you. Not as serious, but the visual in my mind produced a chuckle.

***I love cat people, just trying to be funny.

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Background: Wednesday night’s episode of Modern Family (season 1, episode 19, “Game Changer”) was all about the iPad. Not sure why, but it felt sketchy. Not because a naked Steve Jobs could survive an entire Wisconsin winter outside with nothing more than a lighter, a case of Ramen and his Disney (ABC) stock to burn. But because it felt like an infomercial… so why the hell did they keep on interrupting it with commercial breaks?

(Worst. iPad dock. EVER)

I don’t care if this was paid or unpaid product placement. Steve Jobs has more Disney stock than you, or anyone else in the world AND sits on the board of directors of ABC’s parent company. To me, Modern Family just kissed the boss’s ass, and that shouldn’t sit well with anyone.

And as for the Toyota product placement, I cried foul on that shit, too. Everyone knows Phil Dunphy’s wife would drive a Honda Odyssey. If anyone should be driving a Toyota, it would be Gloria (read: would help explain the cupcake on her car in “Moon Landing”).

(Don’t be silly Walter, everyone knows the iPad doesn’t have a camera.)

PLEASE NOTE: I’m a huge Apple fanboy and Modern Family’s number one fan. So let’s don’t go there. The show is the best comedy on TV, in fact, I’m positive the cast could beat the Glee crew in a talent show any day of the week. So don’t leave a “you’re a Modern Family hater” comment unless you have a TV dedicated to the show in your bathroom.

Pictured on the television below is the opening title sequence of Modern Family, rumors of replacing picture frames with iPads are not true… yet.

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While this video makes it look like everything went well, it didn’t. Shortly after I said “Christians iz crazy” we had a long talk about the religions of the world and why we were having tuna fish sandwiches for lunch. After a few more earring changes, we eventually got back to the ones she woke up wearing.

The good news… she now understands why McDonald’s has the Filet-O-Fish on the menu.

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